I made a plan sheet again inspired from TEHCHING HSIEH again. For making sure about my purpose, the paper worked very well.
When I had an electric shock on my right hand, I found myself that I wanted to be apart from my phone for awhile. I used to think of this project since when I was writing my dissertation, but I was not brave enough to cut my connection on the internet because I didn’t want my family to worry about me without contacting for awhile. But after the incident of the electric shock, my right hand became very sensitive about electricity. I felt shaking in my veins when I touched my phone or my PC.
I started to create a doll out of my shrunk sweater. I had been keeping that since I was a first year. The sweater got shrunk because I didn’t know how to dry sweaters. My ignorance created the tragedy of the sweater. I wanted to apologize about my ignorance and I wanted to give a new life for her. So I sewed and sewed, but not trying to make a certain shape. Letting the fabric wanted to create more that I create. And the doll was complete. But I was not sure what it was still yet. I thought that it was an alien’s head but many people told me that it was a fish. I thought that it would be interesting to call that as a fish because a fish made of sweater won’t be able to swim for forever but it can hold the electric devise ‘My iPhone!’. Human body can get electricity because we have water in our body. So putting electric devise in the wool fish means giving her the chance to be in water in a way.
When I put my phone inside of the doll, I did a ritual in my room, lit a red candle and wrap the phone with a plastic bag and tapes. and I sent my energy to that. I started to recognize the phone as an object like a doll more than a tool.
I asked Unn and Andrea to take care of the doll for a week in total. I passed a notebook to write about the doll.
On the day I passed the doll to Unn, she decided to name her ‘Kyu-chan’ from a Chinese character which we made as a meaning of ‘INTIMACY’. After naming, we started to call her ‘Kyu-chan’. The process of naming was quite spontaneous and intimate.
During the week without my phone, I decided not to use internet as well. So I needed to contact with people in person or a letter. The days were very relaxing. I just went to my studio everyday and read books. I couldn’t google so if I have something I don’t know I used my dictionary. I realized that using a dictionary or a book to know something leads me to see anything more objectively. I realized that the information on the internet is written in subjectivity. So people easily can be swayed by emotional opinions.
The practice gave me an opportunity to revise my presence in the internet world as well. ‘Why do I want to post photos on Instagram?’, ‘Why do I want to send messages to friends in Japan?’, ‘Why do I check Instagram during the spare time?’. My flatmate told me that she thought that I was traveling because she couldn’t easily contact me even though we live together. It was surprising!!! After the experiment, I think the frequency of using my phone definitely reduced. Sometimes, I turn off because I can focus on reading books or talking with a friend in front of me. I think that I was in another world when I didn’t have my internet presence. Or I didn’t have another face for awhile.
Through the practice of putting something which is recognized as necessities for living in stuffed dolls, I could experience how I should be simple. And I realized that I’m just a human who lives by eating and reading. Very very simple.
In the Zen book, it said that getting rid of your name and changing clothes is the first step to get forward to the enlightenment.
In the end of the project, the doll looked differently because it was cuddled by different people. Kyu-chan could experience home staying. Now the phone is not only my phone but also a heart of Kyu-chan which holds memories with Unn and Andrea.